For reasons unbeknownst to me, I woke up on a Sunday morning, had breakfast, and read both papers by about 10am. Normally I'm still unconscious about that time, but today I managed to wake up by 7. The truth is that if I get to bed at a reasonable time as I did last night, I can get enough sleep and wake up not only refreshed, but early enough to get a few things done and/or get out to do something fun.
That first paragraph had nothing to do with the title of this post, huh? Actually, I'm getting there but will probably need a transfer. Let me ask the driver...
It is without any doubt that both of you have noticed that I write a bit...differently than most people. For instance, where most folks write a date as "May 15th," I write that same date as "May 15rd." I use the wrong ordinals because I simply don't like them in dates. Today's date of "May 15" is read as "May 15th" in real life, so there's no need to add one of those "th"s in there when you write it. Writing the uncorrect ordinals is my way of protesting.
"Uncorrect." That brings to mind another miserable habit I have: making up my own words or corrupting existing ones. Now, everyone on this planet and yours knows that I'm a dedicated officer on the Spelling and Grammar Police force. "To Correct and to Serve" is our motto. So why would an officer go out of his/her/its way to completely enbafflize our revered language? Simple. It makes for semi-amusing reading, and the WTF?!?!? looks are priceless.
Everything written here should explain why a seemingly intelligent person such as myself writes so bizarrely. Actually, for even less fun and more inconvenience, I should write posts like this once in awhile. Completely useless, utterly frustrating, but it gets me out and about, entertains you (maybe), and entertains me (definitely).
Thank you for reading. Got out of the house for a bit, did a little writing—nonsensical as it was—and had a little fun. Maybe sometime I'll actually answer the question in the title.
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