A recent post on a friend's blog inspired this post. His post was about his father-in-law, who was doing some planning regarding what to do with his remains after he has passed away. That got me to thinking about what I should have done with my own remains after the old ticker stops ticking.
First off, I'm not headed to the Great Bed, Bath & Beyond anytime soon, so don't worry. In fact, just last week my doctor said that I should live to be about 120, with diabetes even! I must be doing something right. Do I want to live that long? Honestly...no. Besides no employer wanting to hire someone that old (except maybe Walmart), I'm not sure what I'd do for all those years. My then 80-year-old car probably won't be running too well by then, even though it's a Honda, so I won't be taking many long trips.
Normally, the end of life is not something I talk about very much. All of us will have an end-of-life experience. We'll either go to sleep and not wake up, get squashed in a tangle of cars out on the highway, or fall from a great height and experience one heck of a freefall. That can be quite a thrill, but the sudden stop at the bottom might throw a wrench into things. In my case, despite my doctor's excellent prognosis of my life, it's highly likely that my previously mentioned diabetes will put me out for good. You just never know.
But once my body runs out of juice, what happens next? Someone has to do something with it. It can't just lay there collecting dust, bugs, junk mail, or a line of spectators all the way out the front door and around the block. E.J. Harrison & Sons (our local trash collector) probably won't take it. And don't even try Camarillo Recycling. They'll just throw it over the fence onto the railroad tracks and let Amtrak take care of it.
The thing is, your "remains" do not only consist of your body. Over the course of a lifetime, most people have accumulated all kinds of stuff, and it remains after you die, unless something is done with it. Just the other day I got something in the mail from a random attorney wanting me to sit with him (and lay out money) so that we can put my will together. I've never really given much thought to what to do with all of my stuff after I'm gone. I've always thought that I'd just leave everything to my wife and children and let them decide what to keep, what to donate, sell or give away, what to throw away, and what to put in the bonfire. Thankfully, I don't have much of value. Give all of my clothes to the Goodwill or Salvation Army. I kind of have a coin collection; keep that—it could be worth tens of dollars. My collection of El Cheapo Comics™ can go to anyone who wants a laugh or none. My coaster stuff—the T-shirts, park maps, coaster parts, etc. could be donated to the ACE Coaster Museum. And so on and so on...
But then there's that...body again. What are my wishes as to disposing of my soul's earthly home of many decades? Many people nowadays choose to be cremated. By comparison to a traditional burial, consisting of an expensive casket, burial plot, grave marker, and untold other things, cremation is usually a lot less expensive, thus relieving survivors of laying out a ton of money that they may not have. In my case, that's yet to be decided. Over the years, because of my love of roller coasters and thrill rides, a few friends have joked that my remains should be loaded into one of the cars on Superman—Escape From Krypton out at Magic Mountain, and launched at over 100 mph up and off the end of the tower. Nice thought, but I have a feeling that park management might not be too crazy about such a thing. We'd better think about a way that's a little more "down to Earth..." Honestly, I would most likely choose cremation. That way, anyone who wants a piece of me can get an urn of their own choosing and help themselves to a scoop of Eric.
Seriously, when all is sad and glum, this is a real concern that must be addressed at some point. Without any official wishes expressed by family, the state gets involved and...well, government...you know how that goes.
There are some tough decisions ahead. But I'd better get serious about it. And quite honestly, any of us who are "up there" in years need to give that some thought whether we want to or not. Get it in writing and make it official. That's the best way to make sure things are carried out the way you want.
