Those of us who consider ourselves believers of the Lord know that sometimes He throws us a test. During the last few days, I've been given what very well could be one of those divine tests. And not just once.
Sunday evening, I was on my way home from SFMM (that's the Official Theme Park Fans abbreviation for Six Flags Magic Mountain) and decided to stop in at Del Taco to get a quick bite for the trip home. A woman approached and asked me if I had any money for her. She needed gas and something to eat (and I think she mentioned children, but over the sound of traffic, I didn't quite catch that). I told her that I, too, was down on my luck and didn't have anything to give her. She was very nice, thanked me anyway, and disappeared. Throughout dinner and on the way home, I had some second thoughts about not even offering to get her at least a small meal. I could have swung that.
Then, just today, I went outside to go over to CVS and the post office, when I spotted an older woman coming up our steps with a walker. I approached her and asked if I could help her, and she replied with almost the same story. She was down on her luck and needed a few bucks for food. Again, I was short myself and couldn't help out, and also explained that I was down on my luck as well. She was very nice and thanked me. Just after getting into my car, I looked to see where she was so I wouldn't run over her when I backed out of the driveway. I saw no trace of her. Using a walker, she couldn't have gotten away THAT quickly...could she? Was this my imagination?
On my way back from the post office, I saw her heading down a different street, so I knew that she was still going through the neighborhood, most likely from house to house. I'd just sent a few bucks to both of our newspaper carriers and had little to last me till I can get to the ATM again in a couple of days.
Were both of these encounters a test from God? I don't recall the actual Scripture references, but something reminded me of turning away a person in need is like turning away Jesus--like a test of our faith. Could I have given these two women a buck or two, despite my own tight financial situation? I'm sure I could have. Unfortunately, my reluctance is due to the number of people out there scamming. Some don't want your help, just your money so they can buy cigarettes, booze, drugs. It's hard to tell who is really in need, especially with the recession and Christmas being so close. Maybe that's what the test is all about.
If anything, this sounds like more of a test of honesty and heart than necessarily giving. You were honest to these people about your situation, but I believe they saw your willingness and/or good intent. Had they not, you'd have heard about it. This strikes me as more of a how test, vs a result test.
ReplyDeleteTranslation: Do you have the good heart and willingness to help, even without the resources? Yes. Then you are of good character and likely passed this spiritual test.
This also could be a test of "how careful and productive is he with his current resources?" If you are careful, and it sounds like you were, then, you may have passed this test with the idea of "ok he's worthy of help and won't just throw money out without careful consideration". Translation: Some kind of spiritual help in getting a better job or more resources to work with since you've proven responsible.
These are all just off the cuff, outside observations. Too, it seems the good people are always tested, yet looked out for, and guided toward good groups who can help them at critical times. I believe this is true for you as well.
However, it's hard to trust the unknown with so many worries biting at your back. I've struggled much with this too. Miracles do happen however, and when you are truly in accord with destiny and listen to it, things line up to help you with surprising ease.
Though we've never met in person, you seem a good soul and a good man with a sense of humor. Someone I would call friend. Hang in there. It's a scary time, but hopefully, in the grand plan, things are being set up to aid you and fix all the things that worry you. Heh, we tread similar paths in some respects.