A Little Laughter Coming Your Way

Normally I write about things going on my life. This time, I decided to write a little about...me. Me the person. Who am I, really? Why am I the way I am? My apologies in advance if it comes across like I'm tooting my own horn or patting myself on the back. Just an honest look at one particular aspect of my personality. And besides, I can't toot my own horn because I don't play an instrument. And if I pat myself on the back too hard, I'll end up with a bruise. (Actually, that happened once. When asked about it, I just said a possum jumped on me when I was out walking. They bought it because that's the kind of thing that would happen to me.)

Throughout my life, people have almost had to be reminded that I was even in the room, due to the fact that I tend to be rather quiet and unassuming. Teachers often wrote on my report cards: "Good student; hardly know he's there." How did someone who grew up in a house of five children manage to be so quiet? For whatever reason, I was. Maybe I got lost in the crowd? Perhaps. Even to this day I can walk into a room and ask the girls something, and they jump because they didn't hear me coming in. Oftentimes I've wondered if I'd have made a good burglar, seeing as how I can sneak around without even trying to do so.

Quiet or not, somehow, some way, I picked up an interesting sense of humor over the years. A blend of humor, actually. Dad had a dry sense of humor. I got that. The cartoons I watched were silly and had a cartoony view on life. I got that. My late friend Ron Szabo was great at the "play on words, punny, take things literally" sense of humor. I got that, too. Put 'em all together and you get...me.

Most people who know me would say that my sense of humor is what stands out most. But the people I encounter on a day-to-day basis react to me in various ways. Some of them see me coming and run the other way. Others spread their arms, ready for me to get close and then attack me with a hug tight enough to bend a steel I-beam. A few have put up "FOR SALE" signs on their homes. (Well, not really. But I have heard a few locks clicking...) The ones who aren't so lucky are the poor souls who have the unfortunate luck to be working in food service or retail when I come through their door. They're stuck. They can't run. They can't hide.

For your reading displeasure, I'm listing a few examples of the abuse that I've heaped onto completely innocent people. Rest assured---each and every one of these actually happened, and no harm was done to anyone. At least none that I know of. No lawyers have called me yet...

Here ya go:

Salesperson:  "Did you need some help?"
Me:  "I've needed help for years."

* * *
Vons clerk:  "Did you need some help out tonight?"
Me:  "No, thanks.  I remember where my car is parked."

* * *
Person looking for a place to sit:  "Is that seat taken?"
Me:  [feels empty seat] "No, it's still there."

* * *
Wendy's clerk:  [smiling] "You always get the chicken nugget combo with chili."
Me:  "Well, if I didn't get the same thing, it would be different.  And different just isn't the same."

* * *
Friend:  "Do you have my number."
Me:  "I've had your number for a long time."

* * *
Out at Magic Mountain one time, wearing my jacket during the summer:

Random Guy:  "Aren't you hot with that jacket on?"
Me:  "That's what the women say..."

* * *
New casino night worker upon meeting me:  "Is your name 'Eric?'"
Me:  "It must be...people keep calling me that..."

* * *
Fast food clerk taking my order:  "Can I have your name?"
Me:  "I'm still using it."

* * *
Him:  "Have you ever been to Canada?"
Me:  "No, but I've heard of it."

* * *
Me to person taking pictures:  "Please don't get me in the picture...it's already on milk cartons." (or, "...on the wall at the post office.").

* * *
Now give me a minute to clean off all of the rotten fruit thrown at me. (Just a note: if you have that much rotten fruit laying around, you might consider cleaning out your fridge once in awhile...)

A good sense of humor is at my very core. It's one of the most important things a person can have. There is so much stress in the world today, and from the look of things, it's not going away any time soon. I just joked about my interaction with people out there who are working hard to make a living. Some might think that my messing with their heads would infuriate them, but quite the opposite is true. A few of these fine people had nasty looks on their face when I arrived, and after I left them with a souvenir of my visit, they were all smiles. I sure hope I made their day as that was really my intention.

Laughter really is the best medicine, and I am eternally grateful to everyone who has passed through my life and given me the fuel to keep the laugh machine going. And especially to the good Lord, the one who really runs this show.